I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
