So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
