she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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