The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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