just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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