dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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