i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
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