you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
