no, he came in my armpit
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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