ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
