we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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