ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
