just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
