It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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