Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
