Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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