My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
