In the future we'll all be gay
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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