smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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