Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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