East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
