in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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