we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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