That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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