we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
