Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
