I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
