If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it's like iHOP with fire
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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