Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
