Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
