His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
