dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
