At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
