My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
