I wanna passion pit in your ass
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
