can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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