I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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