No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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