What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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