It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
