I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
