i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
