great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
