The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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