...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
