gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
