He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
