What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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