ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
