ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
