6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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