so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
